Good Intentions – a sad but funny story
So, I am trying to ride my bike to work at least once a week. Depending upon the weather and my schedule I pick a day and just do it. It’s a 17 mile round trip and I end up burning around 1200 calories. It’s that last fact that is a real motivator. The more often I do that the more I don’t have to worry about what I eat and drink. However, I don’t ride my bike from home. I drive to the Horse Park and park at the head of the Legacy Trail, a run, walk, bike trail that takes me right to work. It’s a great trail and it was a cool morning. It was a perfect morning.
It’s the drive to the Horse Park bit that makes my actions inexcusable. You’ll see what I mean in a minute.
On Tuesday night I packed my backpack. This time I even remembered underwear and an extra shirt for the trip back. Nothing defeats the clean and fresh feeling of a shower like having to wear sweaty underwear. I remembered to pack a water bottle this time. The last time, and first time, I was left dying of thirst and remained dehydrated most of the day. I even packed my laptop to use at my second job that evening. I thought I had everything and made my way to the car. As I left the driveway I remembered that someone had borrowed my truck last weekend and removed my bike helmet from the back seat. Proud for not forgetting it, and recalling an innocent trip to Wal-Mart that resulted in a tumble over the handle bars, I opened the garage door and retrieved my helmet.
Before I got to the end of the street I recognized that my lovely wife had left the truck on empty. She had taken my truck the night before which put a little monkey wrench into my plans to pack everything up for my trip as soon as I got home from our family outing. So, I pulled into the gas station to fill up, and was on my way in no time.
I arrived at the trail promptly at 7:00 am and judged that I would be to work, showered and in my chair by 8:00 am. I parked smartly behind a tree so that I would get afternoon shade. I selected my podcast for the ride, opened the Map My Tracks App and selected cycling as the exercise of choice. I made sure my Garmin Forerunner was reading my heart monitor and I exited the vehicle with my backpack in tow.
I looked into the bed of the truck and was immediately struck by what I saw.
NOTHING!
That’s right I had everything but the bike for my bike ride. I was tempted to run the trail but a recently strained right calf was far from ready for that.
I know what you are saying, “How do you forget your bike?”
Here’s the kicker. I had multiple opportunities to recognize that the bike was missing. I walked right past the bed of the truck to get in the first time. When I exited and entered the truck a second time when I went to retrieve my helmet would have been a good time to recognize. Even the gas station where I stood at the bed of my truck for at least 10 minutes would have been a redeemable situation, but it wasn’t until I needed the bike that I recognized it was missing.
I had remembered the day before that I needed to put the bike in the truck. I had planned to put the bike in the truck upon my arrival home. But I never actually put the bike in the truck.
It reminds me of the parable that Jesus tells of the two sons who were told to do something by Dad. One said he would and didn’t do it and the other said no, but did it (Matthew 21). Often our spiritual development gets short circuited by confusing intention with action. Sociologists have even discovered that you are less likely to achieve a goal if you tell others about it, than if you keep it to yourself. For some reason our brain seemingly convinces us that we’ve already achieved the goal.
I don’t know if that is what happened to me, or if habit just got in the way, or if I’m getting old, or if God knew my right calf needed another day. I’d like for the last one to be true. In any case, I failed to reach my goal for the day, but God willing, I’ll try again.
However, the events of the day have also caused me to look retrospectively at where I have confused intention and action. I’m asking, “Where have I fallen short of actually following through?” and “How can I eliminate the intention-action confusion in the future?” I might need to make a list and check it off, or maybe I just need to slow down and make sure I have everything for the journey.
Can you relate?
Selfish vs. Godly Ambition
When we find ourselves in a place where we know that we can do more, better, bigger, than we currently are doing it might be good to remind ourselves that we’re fallen and imperfect people who rely on a perfect and Holy God.
Everything I’ve ever done is laced with selfish ambition. Why? Because I’m not completely sanctified. If you want to go to the next level of leadership you need to allow God to crucify your selfish ambitions, but that is only half the equation. You also need God to intensify your godly ambitions. There is a fine line between those two motivations, but they will determine what gets rewarded and what gets disregarded. I think there are lots of leaders who are accomplishing great things for the kingdom, but it will go totally unrewarded because they are doing it for the wrong reasons. And it is our motivations that will one day be revealed and judged by God.
The difference between selfish ambition and godly ambition is sort of like the difference between self confidence and holy confidence. The source of the motivations are polar opposites while the actions on the surface seem to be the same. It’s so easy to do the right things for the wrong reasons and appear to be godly. May God sanctify our motives. May God crucify our selfish ambitions and intensity our godly ambitions. May the glory of God be the only motivation driving us!
Spiritual Formation vs. Conversion
In certain circles I continue to read/hear some things that disturb me. The way and tone and directness with which it is expressed is almost Pharisaical or Gnostical and neither of those approaches are a good marriage with the Way of Christ.
When I read/hear comments like:
“I’d rather have 500 sold out deeply spiritual people worshipping on the weekend than 5000 that are skin deep.”
“We need to focus on growing the one’s we have before we can go out and get more.”
“Knowing the Bible should be the priority right now.”
I cringe and in all honesty I tend to boil over with anger and passion.
If every church had focused upon “growing deeper” would any of the folks who make these kinds of comments have even come to a life saving relationship with Jesus?
We often forget that while people are lambs, most of the ones we are frustrated with from a spiritual growth standpoint are also adults. They have every right to exercise free will if only for the reason that this is the way that God wants it. They are not children who can be made to read their Bible, internalize the scripture, and be transformed by the knowledge. They can, and often do, choose not to.
None of us want a spiritually immature congregation. It sucks trying to lead people who choose to know very little, and obey even less. However, at the end of the day the Bible makes it very clear that the one responsible for the growth that we complain about, that we judge, that we often condemn is God.
God is responsible for the growth. The only thing we laborers are responsible for is planting and watering, but even then growth is God’s responsibility.
I’m thankful for the disunity in the Corinthian Church because if it were not for the problems that they faced we wouldn’t have what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1, “6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.8 The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.”
It may seem like semantics because now you can just complain that not enough watering is going on, but even so God is still responsible for the growth. In fact, just because we plant and water there is no guarantee growth will happen. Sometimes it could take several seasons of sewing and watering before the first sprout springs forth from the ground of the heart.
In reality conversion is spiritual formation. At conversion the Spirit is formed in us. I would argue that the most significant and abundant growth happens at this moment. All growth that follows will pale in comparison to what happens at the moment someone is transformed by the Word of God. It is a death to life experience, and as an embryonic growth happens a rates unparalleled in the rest of a humans life so it is with our rebirth.
Conversion is Spiritual Formation. It isn’t an either/or proposition. It should be a both/and proposition.
We cannot forsake being a light to the world for the sake of focusing upon the sheep we already have in the pen. We must find a way to water and not compromise the sewing of the seed. Too many people will die and go to Hell if we don’t find a way.