In Honor of Kristi Lynn
August 11, 2011, the day after Mom died, was the 20th anniversary of my marriage to Kristi Lynn Lobitz. It was unlike any other anniversary before it, FULL of Grace.
[singlepic id=52 w=320 h=240 float=center]
The events leading up to this anniversary left me little time to plan a celebration, buy a present, or select a card. I have typically been a very creative planner of special events that have included surprise trips, weekend getaways and thoughtful or sometimes handmade gifts. I have often begun to plan some events months in advance, but there have been a few, for sure, that just never hit my radar until too late. In years gone by the obviousness of my oversight would have been bitterly received as if I cared little for her as a person, a special creation, an image bearer of the Most High God and are burned into her memory…and mine. I admit now that my previous oversights that included card and present shopping on the day of the event had more to do with my selfishness than my circumstance, and the hurt it caused was real.
But this time, it was FULL of Grace.
In a way this anniversary was the best because it allowed me to see just how far we have come, and gives me hope for just how far we will go. There were no demands or expectations outside of just being with me in my grief. We have journeyed a long way since those early days of dining at the buffet of selfishness.
Kristi, you are God’s greatest gift to me.
You have shown me forgiveness beyond what I could have expected.
You have held me to a higher standard.
You have made me a better father…a better man…a better person.
You are the mother I dreamed my children would have.
You have grown into a compassionate woman full of wisdom and grace.
You are a radiant bride whose gaze can still make my heart race.
You have been and continue to be a tremendous friend.
We have danced in minefields and sailed into many storms.
I am thankful you keep promises.
I am glad God gave me you to dance, and sail, and walk through this life.
By the way, Andrew Peterson, thanks for this song!
“You’ll never be…”
Have you ever had someone say, “You’ll never be good enough. You’ll never live up to… You’ll never be like…”
Worse yet, have you ever said it? After reading Seth’s thoughts below I plead with you to repent, go to the one to whom you meant evil and give God a chance to redeem your words with hope. Jesus sees our potential and restores our limitations. There is a difference between guiding and directing someone’s path and crushing someone’s spirit.
Accepting limits
It’s absurd to look at a three year old toddler and say, “this kid can’t read or do math or even string together a coherent paragraph. He’s a dolt and he’s never going to amount to anything.” No, we don’t say that because we know we can teach and motivate and cajole the typical kid to be able to do all of these things.
Why is it okay, then, to look at a teenager and say, “this kid will never be a leader, never run a significant organization, never save a life, never inspire or create…”
Just because it’s difficult to grade doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taught.
Never mind a teenager. I think it’s wrong to say that about someone who’s fifty.
Isn’t it absurd to focus so much energy on ‘practical’ skills that prep someone for a life of following instructions but relentlessly avoid the difficult work necessary to push someone to reinvent themselves into becoming someone who makes a difference?
And isn’t it even worse to write off a person or an organization merely because of what they are instead of what they might become?
Dad! I found my $60.00!
Dad! I found my $60.00![singlepic id=38 w=320 h=240 float=right]
Those were the words shouted by my enraptured 8 year old around 10:30 am this morning. Now $60.00 doesn’t seem like a whole lot of money, but to an average American 8 year old it was everything.
You see the $60.00 had been missing for a Y E A R. That’s right 12 months, 365 days give or take seven or eight. It had long been considered lost in her mind. Written off and tucked away as a life lesson. We had deduced that she had put the money in her wallet, which she left in a great barbecue restaurant, Smokey Bones, in Bowling Green, Kentucky while attending her sister’s soccer tournament. It took us a week to deduce that, and so we never bothered calling the restaurant. Instead we just instructed her to never carry that much money around, but to put it in a safe place.
She was devastated by the loss, her whole savings.
A whole year has passed and Mallori just had her 8th birthday last month. She is saving for a cell phone or a laptop, and the loss of the $60.00 put her behind so she planned to save every penny of birthday funds this year. That was until she was listening to the radio two weeks ago. The radio station KLOVE was having a pledge drive, and our area in Central Kentucky was only 95% funded. My wife had the radio on while picking up Mallori from school, and Mallori heard the news. She was determined to give a one time gift of $40.00 to help keep them on the air. “Daddy, I just can’t let them go off the air.” There was no talking her out of it.
Mallori gave her life to Jesus almost three years ago. So, when it comes to spiritual things we tend to let it ride regardless of how foolish our children’s choices may seem from a logical perspective. We trust that the same Holy Spirit can speak in loud ways whether adult or child. So, in this case, while thinking in the back of my head, “Wow, Mallori that’s a lot of money. I’m sure KLOVE will eventually get funded, so why don’t we wait and see what happens,” we just kind of shrugged our shoulders and said with a smile, “Okay.”
Kristi called and handed Mallori the phone and she pledged “her” money. We received the envelope last week and sent in the money.
That brings us to today. She was looking under her bed for a pair of shoes. And there it was…The Wallet. Mallori immediately thought, “I think I found my $60.00.” She couldn’t reach it and got her sister to come help. Baili, in true form, looked inside the wallet and exclaimed. “There’s nothing in it.” – long dramatic pause – “Just kidding.” And out she rips, yep you guessed it, $60.00. Can you imagine how Mallori felt when Baili pulled out a wad of cash? Man, if I could have had a camera at that moment! It was lost, but now it’s found!
She had let that $60.00 go and never really fretted about it after a week or two. She heard a need and responded with 1/3 of her cash. No, second guesses, no regrets there either.
Then today she received one of the best stories an eight year old could ever tell. God moved her to spend the $40.00, helped her find the $60.00, so in reality she’s ahead $20.
Now I’m no where close to a health and wealth guy. I don’t even believe in the rapture. I fully believe that we will suffer up until Jesus returns. Following Jesus doesn’t exempt us from anything except Hell, the penalty of sin, and the power of evil. However, I’m also fully confident that God is sovereign, and that He can orchestrate anything for His glory.
I heard a scream and a, “I found my $60, Dad, I found my $60!”
“What?!” I yelled back.
Mallori, from the top of the stairs, “Dad, I found my $60!”
Still in disbelief I reply, “What?!”
Mallori held that money to my face this morning and after making her say those words, “I found THE $60!” four or five times she exclaimed, “Boy am I lucky!” Immediately, I recounted the events over the last few days and I gave her a hug and simply said, “You need to just praise the Lord because you released $40, He may have helped you find $60.”
[singlepic id=37 w=320 h=240 float=center]