Getting Married All Over Again
I awoke at 4:00 AM again for the second day in a row. On my drive to work I began to think about complexity of emotions I am experiencing: anticipation, anxiety, excitement, fear, doubt, trust, burden, freedom, unsatisfied yet satisfied. Sunday is going to be just another day for the majority of the people in the world, but not for me.
Launch Day is a lot like a wedding day, only it’s not. At 20, when I married Kristi, I was foolish enough to think I knew what I was getting myself into. I REALLY believed my expectations were realistic, and that all my fantasies would come true.
Don’t laugh!
Actually, laugh all you want. I don’t remember a whole lot about my wedding day, or the days leading up to my wedding day, but I do remember one thing. I remember being fully confident that I had it all under control. Two days into the honeymoon cracks emerged, but I kept pretending and four years in I almost lost it.
I’m more than twice 20, and the years have taught me one thing well. I have very little idea of what I’m getting into. I have very little control of what the results will be. I am not very confident in my skills or expertise in navigating these waters. No matter how hard I work it ultimately isn’t really even up to me. I’m a failure more than I am a success. I am more weak than I am strong. I seem to want to flip a coin to make most decisions. Cracks have already emerged and the “wedding day” hasn’t even arrived. This is nothing like my wedding day, but I wish it would have been.
Because just like my marriage, just like my wedding day, Launch Day isn’t about me. So, it is with fear and trembling that I step into this weekend hopeful that my expectations are aligned with God’s and that regardless of how incompetent I feel I know He is more than able to receive the glory He is due because of and in spite of me.
Regeneration Church Launch Day
Sunday, November 24, 2013
10:10AM and 5:20PM
A Song for the Priests
Couldn’t help but hear a wonderfully artistic representation of what we’ve been talking about lately. All of you priests listen up.
Preacher as Watchman
1Once again a message came to me from the Lord: 2“Son of man, give your people this message: ‘When I bring an army against a country, the people of that land choose one of their own to be a watchman. 3When the watchman sees the enemy coming, he sounds the alarm to warn the people. 4Then if those who hear the alarm refuse to take action, it is their own fault if they die. 5They heard the alarm but ignored it, so the responsibility is theirs. If they had listened to the warning, they could have saved their lives. 6But if the watchman sees the enemy coming and doesn’t sound the alarm to warn the people, he is responsible for their captivity. They will die in their sins, but I will hold the watchman responsible for their deaths.’
7“Now, son of man, I am making you a watchman for the people of Israel. Therefore, listen to what I say and warn them for me. 8If I announce that some wicked people are sure to die and you fail to tell them to change their ways, then they will die in their sins, and I will hold you responsible for their deaths. 9But if you warn them to repent and they don’t repent, they will die in their sins, but you will have saved yourself.(Ezekiel 33:1-9, NET)
It’s a sobering passage that preaching, prophesying, and teaching carries with it an extraordinary amount of weight. Once you lose this perception of just how responsible you are as a message bringer you will often chase after the gods of popularity and acceptability and growth by justifiable means will eventually overextend. Ultimately failure of not only the messenger, but the entire nation is on the horizon without supernatural intervention.
My hope for Regeneration is that I set the bar high for those who share the pulpit with me and those who will follow me in this regard. That not only will we expect change from everyone else, but that we will be willing to see the enemies that arise in our own lives and change first.
Feel free to hold me to that.